When Everything Changes (and You Wish It Wouldn’t)

Reanna's Great Adventure: Finding grace in the growing pains of life

Sigh.
Change is not my favorite. I love when things stay at least remotely consistent over time—but the current lack of consistency in my life might be the very reason I struggle with being consistent myself.

Photo by Steven Kamenar on Unsplash

I had the privilege of growing up in the same town, with the same church and the same school, for all of my childhood. I had the luxury of graduating with the same people who were in my Pre-K3 class.

The first semester of college really stretched my deep dislike of change. I simultaneously loved learning new things and meeting new people, while despising the fact that everything changed each semester. My classes changed. My roommates changed. My friend group changed. My job and extracurriculars stayed constant, but the time I could give to each shifted.

I learned to “deal” with it—though sometimes, I still had a moment (or two) of mental breakdown over all the change.

Then came the spring of 2020.
Yes, I’m talking about when the world shut down.

That was the ultimate test of my flexibility. Suddenly, I was back in my childhood home with my entire family. We all had to shift our preferences and schedules—and there definitely wasn’t enough Wi-Fi for three college students and two parents working from home.

In the few months that the world was on pause, I learned so much. Not just about the world, but about myself.

For example: I thrive with a schedule. So, I made one for “COVID Summer.” I had a set wake-up time, reading time, professional development time, exercise time—even nap time.

At the time, I was in my third year of counseling, and being “home” pushed every boundary I had set. I felt stuck. I wasn’t allowed to fully be “me,” but I was far too grown to fit back into the 17-year-old version of me.
So... what was I supposed to do?

Well. I tried a lot of things.
I failed at a lot of things.
And I learned a lot of things.

I learned what I could bend on.
I learned what I wasn’t willing to bend over.
{Sometimes that ended with a glass of ice-cold water being dumped on my brother—but that’s a story for another time.}