There was one sentence in this conversation that stopped me in my tracks.
“Worry is meditation.”
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought of meditation as this intentional spiritual practice. Something peaceful. Something disciplined.
But worry? That just feels...automatic.
It’s the running commentary in my head while I’m trying to fall asleep. It’s replaying conversations that already happened or rehearsing conversations that probably never will. It’s trying to solve tomorrow before I’ve even lived today.
Kathleen said something so simple, yet so profound: if meditation is simply what we continually think about, then worry is meditation too. It’s just meditation on fear instead of truth.
I had to sit with that for a while. Because if that’s true, then the question isn’t whether I’m meditating. The question is what I’m meditating on.
That shifted something in me.
One of the things we talk about often on the podcast is becoming. Not becoming more productive. Not becoming more impressive. Becoming more like Jesus.
But if I’m constantly feeding my mind fear, comparison, timelines, and worst-case scenarios, I shouldn’t be surprised when peace feels far away.
Another part of our conversation that stayed with me was Kathleen’s picture of being connected to the Vine.
She described self-reliance as living like a branch that’s trying to survive apart from the vine. You’re still working. You’re still trying. But you’re forcing instead of flowing.
Oof.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know that self-reliance has been one of the biggest things God has been gently unraveling in my own heart.
I’m naturally someone who likes a plan. I like spreadsheets. I like checklists. I like feeling like if I work hard enough, I’ll eventually figure everything out.
But waiting has a way of exposing all the places where I trust my own strength more than God’s.
Maybe that’s why I loved one of Kathleen’s practical questions so much: “What state am I in right now?”
Am I living connected to the Vine? Or have I drifted into anxiety, hurry, frustration, striving, or fear?
Because those aren’t invitations to shame ourselves. They’re invitations to return.
To remember that Jesus never asked us to carry everything. He invited us to abide.
And maybe that’s the invitation for you today, too. Not to try harder. Not to figure everything out. Not to force what’s only meant to flow through dependence on Him.
Just to come back to the Vine. To breathe. To trust. To remember that becoming has always mattered more to God than performing.
If this conversation resonates with where you are, I’d love for you to listen to this week’s episode with Kathleen Johnson. We dive into walking by the Spirit, overcoming self-reliance, spiritual disciplines, surrender, and what it really looks like to trust God in the in-between.
I think it might encourage you as much as it encouraged me.
-Reanna
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