It's not about you.
A twenty-somethings encouragement to people pleasers.
The bathroom is full of women trying to finish their makeup before the photoshoot. After all, you only get free professional headshots once in your life. Tissues with perfect kiss marks cover the vanity. Hair spray creates a fine sheen over the mirror. Compacts with setting powder & those useless sponges are stacked like Jenga blocks on every flat surface. Curling wands & hair straighteners are plugged into every available outlet in the building.
Spoiler: that’s not me. I own one tube of mascara & have kept up with the lip stain from my wedding day. My southern inner self is jumping for joy now that I no longer need to apply foundation, concealer, and bronzer to my face every day. I’m not saying that I am perfectly content with how I look. I scrutinize my appearance in every mirror or photo taken. It’s not that I don’t care; I just care differently.
Some people can use a straightener like a wizard and make a person look completely different after a session at a salon. A few (yes, I mean more than two) of my sister-in-laws are geniuses at all things hair, makeup, or anything “pretty”. I do not possess that skill set.
I’m the girl on picture day who is more worried about how others perceive me than the war paint that is on my face—believe me, anytime there is makeup on my face, I’m going to a metaphorical war.
A war that demands that I am perceived a certain way. I need to look more accomplished or older. I need to meet a cultural norm or cover the blemishes on my face. I am at war with my view of self & will do anything to help my self-confidence.
But the reality is, this isn’t actually about me.
The decision to appear differently than my authentic self was to please someone else. Now hear me say, if you love makeup, wear it. If you want to have the zaniest outfit, I will be the first to compliment you. My personality is neither zany nor made up.
For the Lord to use my most authentic self, my focus needs to be on the people I am serving. That means I wear jeans & a T-shirt to work to be best equipped for my job. I don’t spend time putting on make up because it doesn’t bring me joy. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care at all. I drink a crazy amout of water everyday to help my body stay hydrated. I eat healthy meals that do not make my body hurt so I can steward my energy well. I stand in the sun as often as possible to replenish my Vitamin D so my brain can work at it’s best capacity.
Showing up as my most authentic self includes loving the body that Christ has given me because He said I was good.
I could wish & want & dream for superficial success and cultural standards of beauty. Honestly, that makes me tired and a little anxious. Instead, I am looking for Jesus to set the standard that I am aiming to meet. It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus inside of me. He is who I want people to see.
True confidence isn’t about looking the part—it’s about letting Jesus be seen in you.
You are invited to…
BOOK CLUB: Breaking Free From Body Shame
This season, we’re diving into Breaking Free From Body Shame by Jess Connolly—a powerful, gospel-centered guide to seeing your body the way God does. Together, we’ll read, reflect, and encourage one another as we break free from the lies we’ve believed and step into the truth of God’s love for us. Whether you’re looking for healing, community, or just a great book discussion, you’re invited. Come as you are, and let’s grow together!
Me & Re Podcast
New on the Me & Re Podcast this week: Ellen & Reanna chat about being brave, being courageous and pointing people to Christ. They also chat about people pleasing & how it really isn’t about me. You can listen on Spotify, Apple Podcast, YouTube or Substack.
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